A former employee of mine used to tell people (gleefully, I might add) that “Kimberly does not sugarcoat or exaggerate things!” A few different ways this can be taken I suppose. She was usually referencing how blunt I was during her interview and onboarding process. I had told her that I wasn’t happy with the current state of things, and I wanted her to set things right. Ok, my exact words were “Blow it up. Keep what you want to keep and toss what you don’t like.” However, the sentiment behind the statement she made was that I was going to be straightforward and direct. I have a tendency towards candor.
Of course, I can be tactful and politic. I’ve been in front of plenty of leadership, peers, team members, clients, executives, friends, family, and others where saying what is in my head may not be exactly wise. I am more than capable of being discreet and confidential. And there are certainly topics that I am unable or unwilling to discuss with particular audiences. The same manager noted above, along with one of her peer managers, often asked for lessons on my “poker face.” So, while I prefer transparency and candor, it is a conscious choice.
When I am with my team, and most particularly with my direct reports, I believe in open and frank discussions. We do not solve our problems by sweeping them under a rug. We cannot close our eyes and just hope that someone else will solve our problems for us. Being a leader means confronting the challenging or painful things so the group can move forward.
Being a leader means confronting the challenging or painful things so the team can move forward.
Why Was I So Direct?
Going back to the management example I opened the article with… why was I so transparent during her interview? I saw many issues within the department, and I needed to hire a management team that was willing to take a fresh look at everything. I didn’t want someone to just sprinkle some glitter on things and hope that I got distracted by something shiny. Was I direct during her onboarding? Yep. Was my phrasing blunt and probably a little frightening? Yes, quite possibly. She commented at times that she felt a little intimidated, which certainly was not my intent! But she was going to be a key part of the team that was going to do the really hard work. So, I felt it only fair to let her know where things were at from the get-go.
This also started to set the tone up-front for what she could expect from me as her direct manager. It also created an example of what I would expect from her as my employee. She could expect that if she asked for my opinion, she would receive it (likely with relatively few filters in place!). She knew that she and the other manager were being given free rein to make changes and challenge the status quo. And she recognized that this would mean a lot of change management efforts, and probably some unhappy people along the way, but that I would be behind her because things needed to change. And ultimately, it set a tone for our entire working relationship.
Why You Should Practice Transparency & Open Discussions
Have you ever had a boss that you could be open and unfiltered with? I had a boss who heard many, many of my unfiltered opinions. Some of them were good, some of them not so happy. A few he disagreed with, but many where I was simply voicing the thoughts in his head. While I maybe didn’t directly say “well, that’s just incredibly stupid…” (ok, not often anyway), I had no fear of telling him the precisely how I felt about the state of things going on in our business. I’ll admit, there’s a bit of an art in this. Telling someone that something is “good” or “bad” without any further qualification isn’t very helpful. Saying that something is stupid without further explanation is likely to be detrimental to the conversation. Explain why you feel it is this way, provide supporting evidence, and come prepared with alternative suggestions.
But if you’ve ever had a boss that encouraged complete transparency, and honestly listened to the feedback, you probably know how liberating it felt. People want to feel valued. And when your voice is heard by others, and your opinions are acted on, you begin to not only feel, but see, the value you add to the organization. Even if not every idea comes to fruition, or if sometimes it’s just a vent, there is immense satisfaction from being heard.
Being Open and Transparent
As we’ve mentioned in other articles, people pick up mannerisms, styles, habits, etc. from each other. If you want your team to be open and willing to speak with you, you must set the example. If you are not transparent & direct with them, how can you expect that they would act differently? This means sharing the good and the bad – as far as you’re able anyway.
As a leader, I want my team to be able to talk with me about things. I want them to tell me the things they don’t like, and I want to share with them when they are excited by something. If something needs to change, I want the two of us to be able to discuss that change frankly. If we disagree, let’s discuss – without attacking the other’s point of view. (And remember that there is value in having a dissenting voice!) I don’t want my team to hide away from problems. And if something is going well, I want to be able to celebrate that success with them – and with others so my team members can get some recognition!
So, I set the stage myself. I try to provide, and pass along, positive feedback. I provide direct feedback on areas of improvement, with examples whenever possible. If there is a challenge raised, I bring it to my team for discussion of how we address it. Yep, sometimes it means that I’m a little blunt. But my team is assured that they can be open with me, and our overall working relationship is stronger for it.
