Today we’re going to cover something a bit more personal, and without much “how-to” involved. However, what I’m about to relate serves well as an object lesson on the topics we cover on our site. In particular, we’re going to talk today about feedback.
Our Scenario – An Awesome Employee with No Positive Feedback
The other morning, I was struck by a random memory. I remembered a review that I had given to a former member of my team. It was a positive review as he was a really good employee. What amused (and distressed) me at the time was his reaction to this review. As we talked through the details of his performance, and why I had rated him as I had, he kept interjecting with comments of thanks and appreciation at my “kind words.” I was telling him how happy I was with what he had accomplished, thanking him for his dedication and hard work (maybe shaking my finger a little bit at overwork), and passing along all of the kudos and positive statements I received about him from other departments. I was not telling him things to be kind. I was detailing why I thought he had earned such a good review and high ranking.
At the end of our session, he commented to me that few managers had done these things, and he found my approach highly motivating. His prior managers had tended towards “no news is good news” as a default feedback mechanism, and praise was rare.
I was amused at his attitude and gratitude. Here was my staff member, someone slightly older than me, much more tenured in that company than me, and only recently moved to my team. And he was thanking me??? All I was doing was recognizing his work. I was thanking him – literally! But right behind that amusement was sadness. This was someone who had worked for this company for many years. When I came into the organization, everyone told me how awesome he was. And I do mean everyone! And yet, they hadn’t bothered to tell him. He knew he was good at his job (I think), and he knew that he had an important part to play in the organization. But he had never been told directly how great he was doing.
What Happened – Change In Perspective
Prior to this discussion, I had felt a little stuck and felt like I was falling flat with him as a manager. His position didn’t really fit within my org, or even my next level up for that matter, and so he was a bit of an odd man out. I didn’t have a plan to help him develop. I wasn’t sure how to integrate him in the longer-term strategy. And I was having a tough time connecting with him initially because he didn’t need help from me like everyone else did. So, I thought I was failing as his manager. (And we’ll come back to that “being needed as a manager” in a later article. There is a huge difference between being “needed” vs. being “wanted” – but that’s for another day.)
What I uncovered was that despite my misgivings of my own performance, this person viewed me as one of the better managers to whom he had reported. Not because I clarified his role (I certainly didn’t!). It wasn’t because I gave him clear-cut SMART goals and objectives (nope, failed there too). And it wasn’t because I made decisions he liked (plenty of those that he really didn’t). I had no profound impact on what he actually did on a daily basis while he was on my team, other than giving him more work to do as various projects unfolded.
However, what I did do:
- I said thank you. If someone gave me feedback on him, I would let him know. I lost count of the number of times someone just said to me “He’s awesome.” And I relayed every single one of those comments to him.
- I made time for him. Even when my schedule was jam-packed, and there was a line of people seeking my attention, if we had a meeting, it was his time. If he ever messaged me saying he needed to talk, I found the time to chat.
- I listened. If he had suggestions, problems, whatever, I listened to what he had to say. Not everything worked out, and there were business directions that I’m certain made him unhappy. But I tried to remain open.
- I communicated. If I needed something, I didn’t leave him guessing. I made a point to say “hello” when I could see him. If something wasn’t right (rarely) I told him. And even when a change was something that I knew was going to make him unhappy, I always tried my best to be transparent and to set him up for future success.
Why Am I Telling You?
This example is why so many of the articles on this site are about connecting and caring as a leader. You need to appreciate your team members for who they are and what they give. You can follow the technical rules and guidelines around time tracking, reporting, reviews, goals, objectives, and corrective actions. But this doesn’t mean that you will win the hearts of your team. I have seen time and again, in my teams and in others, where taking the time for these simple connection practices creates loyal and productive groups. Even at those times when I had to call someone out on their nonsense, the relationship was better for it.
So be sure to recognize your team – and say “thank you, great job!” more often.
